Friday, July 29, 2005

Remember Boring Boy? Well I'd forgotten all about him until tonight. I saw him down at Fingerprints on 2nd street. He was in the front with some stupid girl and I came in the back with Goth Boy. There's some Clash LP he wants but he can't bring himself to pay $100 for it so he keeps dropping in to make sure it's there. He's too proud to call and ask so we have to go in and pretend we're browsing.

We were in there doing our thing and Boring Boy comes running up to me all crazy. Where have you been? Oh my god I thought you were in jail or dead or something worse. The last time he heard anything was from one of the EMT's who told him about the cops showing up at my last gig. Goth Boy was cool about it. He just stood there and let Boring Boy gush all over me. I explained myself and he said he was worried about me and just basically totally ruined any chances of ever getting with the girl who was standing there being totally ignored. She stood there getting huffy and pissy and it was kind of funny and sad.

Finally Goth Boy said we're gonna be late and we said see ya and we split. Poor Boring Boy. I haven't even thought of him this whole time. And when we were walking out the door he said please call me. Poor guy. He just doesn't get it. He probably never will.

confessions of The Shadow * 11:51 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, July 24, 2005

What a lazy day. I've been sitting around here in the back house waiting for Patty and Douglas the attorney to finish their huge argument. I don't know about lawyer boy. He's kind of too casual with Patty. Like I've noticed that he touches her a lot and stuff. What's up with that shit?

Patty wants her money so she can go to either Otis or Parsons. Douglas doesn't think it's a good idea for her to leave the area. He wants her to stay in SoCal. Now Patty is all headstrong to go to NYC or London or Paris. Patty's stepfreak tied up all her money in a trust that she can't touch until she's thirty. Patty found out from this guy we met who does financial planning that she can go to court and ask the judge to pay her tuition. Now she's all pissed off because she could have gone away to school years ago but her monster was keeping her around town. What a bitch. She only did it so Patty could be her little bitch slave.

Douglas doesn't like Patty's Man. He thinks he's an "unhealthy relationship" for her. If he only knew the whole truth. Goth Boy is in NYC finishing up Patty's Man's meetings with clients. I hate when he leaves me, but I know he has to go. It's actually good for us I think. How sick of each other would we get if we were just together all the time? He said he'd bring me back some cool clothes.

When Douglas gets the hell out of here Patty and I are cutting the bedroom set for a baby boy. It'll be nice. She even makes these cloth shapes of animals to put on the baby's wall. It's amazing how much money people will spend on a baby, and then just ignore it once it learns how to talk back.

confessions of The Shadow * 11:31 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Good news and not so good news. I got hired at WestMed. Hooray! But a kick in the ass on the way out because she decided to not have me start working until my classes start so I have about a month more of sitting on my ass doing nothing. God I'm so terrificly bored.

Have I told you lately how totally into me Goth Boy is? It was so fucking hot last night that we laid around on the floor in his place because they're wood and they keep cool. We took turns running ice cubes up and down each other's naked bodies. It's a memory now.

I can't stand this heat. Katrin and Sean must be melting.

confessions of The Shadow * 8:01 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Patty's Mom's divorce attorney is on his way over. We all have a lot to talk about. Because the Cayenne got smashed up and the insurance people couldn't reach her mom, and we didn't know we were supposed to call her attorney, the insurance people called the little dickhead she's divorcing. He's 32. His girlfriend is our age. This prick showed up this morning with his ignorant girlfriend and tried to kick us out of the house. Naturally we told him to fuck off.

I called my friend Carey. He called the police. Everyone came. Carey told the police she was representing Patty's Mom in the possible sale of the property, wouldn't that be nice, and that we're housesitting and had verbal tenancy. The police were fine with that because Carey brought a copy of the tax rolls and dickhead's name is nowhere on it. So the police told him to leave us alone and handle it through his attorney. It was so like a made for TV movie because as the cops were helping him back to his brand new convertible BMW that Patty's Mom bought him for his birthday he goes "This is not over. Not by a longshot". We couldn't help busting out laughing.

I wish Goth Boy had been there. He's leaving me again. He has to go to NYC to take care of some of Patty's Man's accounts. Patty's Man is so in despair. Last night I took Patty over to the rehab place and stood watch at the door so they could have some alone time. He was more interested in seeing her than in the food we brought. I guess there's a first time for everything. He can't have a computer in the rehab place, either. I think he's going through withdrawl.

Patty says her mom's attorney is super hot for an older guy. He's in his 40's and he's still got a really hard body. His name is Douglas and he's really vicious. He's the one who got Patty's Mom so much money in her last divorce. Patty said when her mom was 21 she married this really rich old dude who was from Jordan. She totally got screwed on that divorce. She wouldn't go back to his country because she was afraid he would murder her. Hello! So they got a divorce and most of his money was actually his family money and also he already had a wife in Jordan they found out later. So she didn't get that much, but she got to keep the first house she had and her cars and all that stuff.

Then she married Patty's dad. That's where she really got lucky. He was a computer guy and he had the patent on some kind of driver they used to use all the time. Now it's old-fashioned but for years they use to use this thing and he was one of the people who had a patent with a bunch of other people who developed this thing. Even after he killed himself drunk driving they would still get paid all the time because of the patent. The family of the people he killed all sued the estate and got money, but Patty still had his social security until she turned 21. Her mom got his life insurance and all kinds of other stuff. That's when she gave all her money to the father of Patty's brother and sister.

For a while she was just dating and partying and having fun with all her money. She told Patty she was going through the grieving process of being a hot single mom with money to burn. Patty spent a lot of time with her grandmother from when she was 5 to 12. She would come home for a while and then her mom would get a new boyfriend that her grandmother didn't trust and her grandmother would take her back. It was on one of her visits that she saved her mom's stupid life the first time she tried to kill herself. Her stupid drunk ass loser mom forgot her 9 year old kid was coming for a weekend visit.

So after that she went to rehab or some other get your shit together place and came out thinking her shit didn't stink. That's when she hooked up with her financial planner and made Patty move home so they could all be a happy family. He goes to church and has all these very Republican ideals about being a good citizen and stuff. That's probably how he's so good with money. So everything was kind of normal and quiet for about 7 years until her mom's husband starting fucking around. Then her mom started having plastic surgery and there was a knock down drag out divorce. Douglas really came in handy on that one. Funny thing is, Mr. Republican Financial Planner screwed himself because he tied so much of her money up to keep it away from her, he ended up protecting it from himself. Haha. Sometimes really smart people fuck themselves over really conveniently. He totally hates her and I think he kind of hates Patty because they look a lot alke. I don't think either of them will ever see little brother and sister again. He's an asshole.

So Douglas is on his way over and he's going to straighten us all out. I wonder if we can rent out rooms in the house. I'll ask him about that. Patty and I have already decided we're not going to mention the student film we're letting be shot here next week. Also, Patty has to find out about her tuition. I didn't know Patty paid her own car payment and insurance. That's pretty cool, I guess. I thought she was a total trustfundie but she's not actually. The only thing she wasn't paying for was her tuition and her rent. I've noticed too that Patty has totally stopped seeing Dr. Shrinkenstein since she moved out of that place she had with BB on Ocean.

Here are some fun facts about the house we are staying in. It was built by some very famous architects named Greene and Greene. It has imported Italian tile in all the fireplaces and bathrooms of the main house. The back house was actually built first. The lot is over 12,000 feet which qualifies it as horse property or something. Patty's Mom can't sell it because it's historical and she only pays half taxes on it. The garage used to be for horses. It was supposedly haunted and a guy who I just forgot his name came down from Pasadena and cleaned all the ghosts out. The chandelier in the dining room is fake. The original chandelier fell down during the 1933 earthquake and broke.

confessions of The Shadow * 12:12 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, July 15, 2005

Just got home from dinner with Goth Boy and Patty and the singer from our favorite all punk all cover band. It was pretty good. We went to the Shangrila and I had something new called Steak Diane. Goth Boy ordered it for me and he picked out the wine, too. I just forgot what it was called, but it's a sweet wine, so I know it's not a sherry or anything stinky like that.

Patty was good. She's not one of those people who act like a jerk just because they're down or life sucks for them. She was still her normal sweet self and when Singer Boy was asking her what's up she didn't mention any of her drama. She just talked about her projects and what she's got going on. It was cool. I think Singer might be hot for Patty. Her man better watch himself. Singer Boy kind of hits on everyone, though. I wonder if he's a little desperate or if he's looking for a sugar baby.

I'm going to sexually assault Goth Boy as soon as he's done doing his thing. I have no idea what he's doing, but Patty's been staying in her mom's bedroom and Goth Boy and I have the guest house all to ourselves. It's really cool here. For half a second I thought maybe Patty and I could rent this place after her mom gets back but it would totally be impossible. She's a fucking nightmare. I hope she goes on a world cruise after she gets out of the drunk tank, wellness center, I mean.

I went on an interview today at WestMed. The Shug set it up for me and I'm eternally grateful if I get it. Even if I don't. It's good to have him back. He's so happy all the time and I always feel kind of chill or more calm when I'm around him. That's probably how he gets so many chicks, That and his upper body.

Tonight I'm going to give Goth Boy an amazing blow job, so good that he will wake up and be completely devoted to me. Then, I'm going to let him play with my pussy. I want to be on top tonight. He can have it however he wants, but I want to look down at him beneath me. I'm showered and I smell so good. I have a new lavender and vanilla bath set I've been using at night. I gave myself the full treatment. I sprayed some of the body spray onto my sheets. I don't know how he can sit over there all hunched over his laptop like a mad scientist. How can he resist coming over here and jumping my bones, right now? I'm going to stop blogging now. I'm going to let my robe fall open so he can see my legs. I'm going to just sit here staring at him and calling him with my amazing pussy.

confessions of The Shadow * 11:06 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

What a totally fucked up day. I spent the whole day helping people and everything is so fucked up. I started out by helping Patty's Man discharge from the hospital and get to the rehab center. He's supposed to stay there for two weeks of post op rehab. So I pick him up and he was totally behaving which should have been a big clue of what was about to happen. So we get in the car and I start for the rehab center and he's like "take me home". I told him no way and he full on started a huge fight with me in the car while I was trying to drive on the fucking 710 and I was caught between rigs and he would not calm the fuck down. He just kept yelling take me home, I have to get home, please, you're kidnapping me, this is illegal. I so could not drive so I pulled over on the shoulder of the fucking 710 northbound and I shut off the engine. He totally lost it. He couldn't get out of the car because the handle is broken on the passenger side and he's in a full leg cast still. So I jumped out and I called Goth Boy and he started yelling at me too to get off the freeway. So I hung up and I called the doctor and he said to get back in the car and drive straight to the rehab and he'd meet us there. So then I got back in the car, which was scary because the rigs were shaking the car when they were driving past. So I got back in and it took over 10 minutes to get back into traffic because the 710 is so insane. By then Patty's Man was so pissed at me he wouldn't look at me and he wasn't saying anything. Carey calls it white heat when guys get so psycho pissed they just get cool again.

So we get to the place and I didn't see the doctor and of course Patty's Man wouldn't get out of the car. I told him I was going to check him in and really I just sat in the lobby and waited for the doctor to show up. He was there in like 15 minutes and he went straight over to my car and got in. I don't know what was said but after about a half hour he got back out and helped Patty's Man get out. They came in and here was the biggest shock of all - the first thing Patty's Man did was come over and apologise to me for being hateful and ungrateful. I wish I had a tape recorder or a video camera. At least I have a witness.

So I got that done and it took my whole morning. So I get back at Patty's Mom's and Patty was home from school and Goth Boy was there helping her get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Some of it's really expensive brandy and cognac and wine and stuff. Goth Boy is putting it all on eBay for us. So as soon as I walk in the door I get a thrown against the wall and then picked up and thrown down on the sofa. Goth Boy pinned me down so he could "discipline' me. I got the never pull over on the side of the freeway lecture. Duh. I used to work in a hospital. I've seen what happens to people who pull over on the 710. Then I told them everything that happened with Patty's Man and the doctor.

But wait, there's more. So Patty and I went down to Laguna Beach and we took her mom's car because it still had gas in it. We got lost on the way because up after Gleneyre it gets kind of twisty. We finally found the place and we went inside to take the measurements for the lady and get the deposit check and all that. While we're in there we hear a horrible crash. We go outside and Patty's Mom's Cayenne is totally smashed up. Normally a SUV can take a hit and it's not that big of a deal. But when a Porsche Cayenne gets smacked by an OG Hummer being driven by a blind old man who looked like he was older than that guy Anna Nicole Smith put in the grave it doesn't make a nice picture. Patty immediately started crying. The lady was like don't worry, he's loaded. He's insured up his ass, you'll be fine.

So I had to call Goth Boy again and he came and rescued us and we got everything all straightened out. Sort of. The cops towed the car and gave us a big dose of copshit because we didn't have written permission to drive the car and we couldn't call her stupid drunk ass suicidal mom because she's at the stupid wellness center. Goth Boy showed up and they tried to give him a big dose of copshit but he wouldn't have it. Then we had to wait for them to drive away because there wasn't enough seatbelts for three of us and Patty was kneeling down on the floor. What a pain in the ass. So now we have all that insurance shit to deal with. How stupid we were. We didn't care that it was a Cayenne, we just didn't want to waste our gas driving all the way down there.

So finally we all got home and I was totally looking forward to some alone time with my High Priest and it was so impossible. With all of his clients and all of Patty's Man's clients his phone never stops ringing. He was hunched over his laptop like a troll the whole night.

I'm sick of this life. Everything is out of balance. I feel like I'm being pushed in a crowd. I'm miserable and I need a fucking job.

confessions of The Shadow * 8:32 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, July 11, 2005

Goth Boy gave me a letter from my monster this morning. It came in the mail on Saturday. I don't want to open it. He offered to read it for me but I let it pass. It's sitting on the mantel at his house. I'm not even the least bit curious. The only thing I would want to know from her is who my sperm donor is/was. I don't think she knows and even if she does, I know her and I know that she would never give that information up so easily in a letter. She'd make me meet her somewhere face to face so she could squeeze the last drop of drama out of it.

Goth Boy's been insane busy. He's had to take over all of Patty's Man's accounts because they won't let him use the laptop in the hospital. He's so aggro. Patty and I are still bringing him food but the doctor told us to watch it because he's totally inactive right now and we've been making him a lot of sweets and stuff and it's not fair to the other patients and we're clogging his arteries as we speak. Whatever. I don't really give a shit about the other patients. When I go in there to bring him food and people I used to work with see me they're all like so what are you up to these days? I play it off like Patty and I are in this huge threesome with her man and that's how he broke his leg, you know when he fell out of the harness. Fuck them all.

I have a lead on a job with The Shug. He just started, but he knows people there and he says he thinks I'll fit right in. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Patty is taking new orders so I'm still helping her with her business. We cleared out all the furniture in her mom's dining room so we could cut the fabric in there. It has really good hard wood floors which makes that part of it easy.

Goth Boy and I are doing better since I left him. There was an air of tension between us that was kind of mysterious. I wasn't even sure it was there, but now that it's not, I know that it was real. He came over and helped me set up my boodwah in Patty's old room. Her mom turned it into a reading room after she moved out. What the fuck ever. We took all the book shelves into the garage with the books still on them. What a bunch of shit her mom reads. It's all Danielle Steel and John Grisham. I asked Patty what the deal was with the hard covers and she said they were all signed first editions and the joke of it was her mom still never read any of them. Which is kind of good because I'm sure they're all pure dog shit but what's the point of getting a signed first edition if you're not ever going to read the book? She didn't even stand in line to meet the authors either. She signed up for some service that just sends them out to her so she can impress people with her book shelves. Isn't that retarded?

I have to get a job. I feel better now that I have my room together. Most of my stuff is either in Patty's Mom's garage or at her man's cave still. I am so grateful to Patty for taking me in and teaching me to sew. I totally suck at it but at least I feel like I'm doing something. Last night I heard her crying really hard in her mom's room. I wanted to go in and rub her back but I just let her cry it out. What can anyone say? Her mom's a fucking retard and her boyfriend's an idiot. Sometimes.

confessions of The Shadow * 1:06 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I'm all settled in at Patty's Mom's. This place is pretty fucking posh. I guess that's a paying gig, divorce. We're not actually staying in the house. We locked it all up and left it that way. We're staying in the guest house out back. It's still pretty posh. The guest house is older than the big house up front. It's pretty cool and it's got two bedrooms and a basement. I've never been in a house with a basement before. It's a little creepy but cool. The plan was to put all my stuff in the basement but not all of it fit. Some of it's still at Patty's Man's cave but that's okay because he's not coming home for another week at least. He has to have his second surgery Monday morning.

He's pretty bitter but he's calming down. He wasn't eating anything until Patty or me brought him food. Then the doctor came to see him and since then he's been nicer to people and not such an asshole. I do feel bad for him that his leg got busted. Mostly I feel bad for Patty.

I'm always fantasizing about walking in on my dead mom. Sometimes I think wouldn't it be great if she had a stroke or a heart attack, sometimes I want to see blood. Sometimes I want to see blood coming out of her nose and mouth. Sometimes I want to see her abdomen open in a complete visceral vivisection. I've also wondered about a temporal or occipital bludgeoning. I know those are usually really bloody.

But Patty actually did it. She walked into her mom's bedroom and found her all nice and bloody in the bathroom. We cleaned up in there but the grout is still dark and gross. She slashed her wrists right, too. I hate that shit where people make the chicken scratches across their wrists. Fuck that. If you're gonna do it, just fucking do it already. To do it right you have to start just under your hands, go down and deep and then pull in towards your elbows. Don't fuck around with stupid slash marks across. You'll still get scars and everyone will know you just did it for effect and that you're just a suicide wannabe.

So Patty walked in on her and saved her stupid life. Again. Patty told me her mom tried to off herself when she was 9. I mean when Patty was 9. She always OD's like a lame ass rockstar. This time she wanted to make sure. So she OD'd and got the charcoal treatment. If I ever did off myself I don't think I'd OD. I don't want any evil nurses intubating me and forcing the charcoal milkshake. I'll tell you what. When you see the doctors and nurses glove and mask up and come at you with the charcoal, you know you've fucked up.

We cleaned up her mom's house and emptied all the food out of the fridge. Her little brother and sister won't be back. Patty asked their asshole father if she could see them and he said he was moving and intended to sue for sole custody. What a dick. Patty is acting like she doesn't care but I know she does.

We've finished all the orders Patty took. Sewing is hard. I like packaging and screenprinting better. Goth Boy is so happy I'm out of his place he's been there all day today. He hasn't left. Tonight I'm going to finish reading my book about extended massive orgasm. I'd like to learn that. I brought it up to my High Priest. He just looked at me, but when I was coming out of the bathroom I saw him looking at my book. I think he's into it.

confessions of The Shadow * 5:20 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

No one wants me. LAMC hasn't called me back so I called them this morning and the guy there was kind of cool to me. So now I'm wondering if they talked to Scrad or someone else there and found out last time they saw me I was when two fucking assholes in blue came to see me.

Fine. I don't care. I'll put myself through school. All I need is a fucking job. I can get one of those anywhere. Besides which Patty needs my help to keep her business going. Her stupid bitch of a mom is getting released from the hospital and is checking herself into a wellness center. I don't know what the fuck that's supposed to be but I think it's one of those places where people who can afford it go to get their shit together. She'll be there for three months. Patty and I are staying in her place while she's gone. I totally don't trust her. What if she bails that place early? Patty said she won't because she paid up front.

I don't know what else to do. I have to get out of Goth Boy's hair. He never comes home. I know why. It's because my complete energy fills his whole space and he can't handle it. It's his place. He needs it back. We're on top of each other. Under other circumstances that would be a good thing.

Patty and I won't have to pay rent while we're house sitting so we can save money and use it for the business.

I found out about something kind of cool this weekend. I want to find out more about it. I'm moving out this weekend. Tonight I'm making Goth Boy an amazing dinner and then I'm fucking his brains out and then I'll deliver the news. I'm leaving him.

confessions of The Shadow * 5:43 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

4th of July was okay. Goth Boy and I spent practically the whole day with Patty. Her mother tried to kill herself and her boyfriend got his leg broken in a fight. She's kind of a mess. Also she's supposed to be finishing her cousin's wedding dress and it's like her whole life has turned to shit.

Actually I can't feel too sorry for her mom or Patty's Man. Here's my analyses of the whole thing. I know Patty's mom. She's the stupid weak bitch exactly like my mom. She always has to have a man. She can't be alone. She totally expects Patty to come over and take care of her. Like she doesn't have a job or a boyfriend or school or any of that shit. Her mom's ex came over and took his kids and they're never coming back because her mom's a fucking idiot so now Patty's probably never seeing them again ever. The stupid suicidal bitch probably hasn't even thought of any of that. Oh, no. It's all about her and how her stupid newest husband who's like 10 years younger than her is fucking somebody else and just wants her for her money. Well, duh. Why else would he want her? Because she's so beautiful? Because she's so smart? Because she's so kind and cool and the fucking life of the the party, the center of everything? Fuck no. It's because she's kicked 4 other guys to the curb and kept half for herself. Fuck that stupid bitch. Next time she calls Patty should just tell her to fuck off and hang it up. I wonder how much Patty would get if her mom kicked it? She'd be a true blue Sunnyside Orphan because her dad killed himself and some other people drunk driving like when she was five.

Patty's Man went looking for trouble and found it. I know he'll read this. I am unafraid. He's been kicking ass since I met him three years ago and I'm not saying he needs to simmer down but he went looking for it the other night. Now he might walk with a limp for the rest of his life. How is he supposed to work on his robot now? How is he supposed to finish the painting or the silkscreen job? I'm just saying this because I just fucked myself over by letting my anger make decisions for me and so has he. That's all I'm saying.

What's next? Are we starting the Willmore City gang wars? Where is this going?

confessions of The Shadow * 7:15 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, July 04, 2005

We just got home from a great party. It wasn't big and glam. It was mellow and really cool. We met some really cool people. They were kind of scaring me though about the Supreme Courts. I'm scared now that the future will be even more sad.

I also found out about a little secret. A couple I've known for a while is totally into S&M. I admit I had no clue. That's pretty bad for the Sex Popess of the World, isn't it? Too bad. As your Popess, I'm nothing if not totally honest with you. I'm being dragged off to bed now. I want you all to be very good and very naughty. Whichever makes it good for you.

Happy 4th of July. We should all enjoy it while we have the freedom to.

confessions of The Shadow * 3:13 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~