Sunday, April 24, 2005

I heard about this chick today called Scheherazade. She was from Baghdad and she had to marry this King who'd been cheated on. So this King was so pissed off that he said he would have a brand new wife every night and then kill her in the morning. So this chick Scheherazade kept him up by telling him some stories. The story went on for 1,001 nights and then by the time she was done he was too in love with her to kill her. Good for him. Good for her, I guess too. But was she ever in love with him? See they don't tell that part of the story. Like it's just not important at all, right?

Well, fuck that. I would have cheated on his fat ass, too. Power corrupts, right?

Goth Boy is leaving me again. He has to go to Vegas for three days. I'm kind of pissed. Carey and I decided to redecorate his place while he's gone. He gave me a $1,000 to do it. Just like in those shows on cable. I think we'll kick ass. I'll tell you all about it when we're done.

confessions of The Shadow * 6:44 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

We got a new pope. BFD. I'm still the Popess. I heard the guy used to be Nazi Youth and doesn't think all those priests who molested people is a big deal. What a fucker. That's right, I called him a fucker. I think he's probably a pig. Well we'll find out what kind of a guy he is. I don't know what the big deal over a new pope is. We just sent some little six year old boy to go be the little Buddha. Why don't we have massive news about that? What a bunch of bullshit. Everyone's a liar. No one tells the truth.

I'm tired. Going away for vacation totally put me behind on everything. Goth Boy sat down and helped me study last night. He's so smart I think he memorized all my vocabulary already. Sometimes I worry about how smart he is and I get nervous that we're not totally compatible. The he fucks me and I remember who we are. It's still good. Better than good.

I decided I want to learn a foreign language. Spanish is not for me. I get enough of it at work. I think I want to learn French. I loved hearing it in Paris. It's so pretty. It sounds like water. I've heard Carey's Irish tapes and that sounds like a hard language. It doesn't make sense. I think German is harsh, too. I just think it would be really cool if I could learn a different language and listen to music and talk to people differently.

confessions of The Shadow * 6:33 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, April 18, 2005

I just got home from a nightmare shift. I ran transport from ED all fucking shift. Usually I don't really care because I'm used to it and the ED is where the most intense shit usually comes from. Tonight we had a girl come in who'd been raped at a beach party. Later on two of the guys who raped her also came in. It was so fucking crazy.

First off I'd like to know who fucking goes to a beach party in April? I mean that shit doesn't even start until mid May at least. It's freezing cold out there. Plus, what dumb ass goes to a party without her girls? I mean I know you can't blame the victim for getting raped but Jesus God why do some girls have to be so fucking stupid?

She got ganged by at least two guys and she thinks there was one other guy who was holding her down. She can't really remember because she's still way too drunk. She stank like booze. I hate to be such a bitch but come on. I mean if I was at a party and I disappeared my girls would be looking for me. I'd do the same for them. That's how it is.

What stupid ass moron goes to a party alone when she doesn't even know anyone there and then gets so wasted she can't even walk? I mean how fucking stupid. Why would she do that? I think she's one of those fucked up girls who are so fucked in the head they actually enjoy getting into fucked up situations becuse they're waiting for a knight in shining armor to come riding up on a white horse and rescue them. It's all bullshit. There are no stupid knights. It's a big fantasy and these fucked up girls who just want to be loved are going about it all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Am I the biggest bitch in the world? She came in with a broken nose, an orbital fracture and internal hematoma of the larynx. That means that someone kind of strangled her and punched her in the face a couple of times. She also has a fractured left wrist and two bruised ribs.

These two frat idiots who came in are the evil idiots I hate. They're from rich families. They think the sun rises and sets on them. They think that thy can do whatever they want whenever they want and to whoever they want. They don't care about what they did. They'll just talk about the stupid whore who wanted it. They'll get lawyers who will say she's a dumb slut who was begging for it. They'll say she was just trying to get pregnant so that she could have a free ride. She won't have a lawyer. She'll only get the stupid assistant DA who will say there isn't enough evidence to win a case and they'll just dump it. What a load of crap.

Those two idiot evil frats came in with food poisoning. Isn't that funny? They'll probably say either that it couldn't have been them because they were too sick or they'll say that somehow the food poisoning made them do it. Well I know what made them do it. It was their stupid parents. I know their parents. They're just like my monster and stepfreak.

confessions of The Shadow * 12:23 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, April 16, 2005

I've been working every day since I got back from Paris. I'm exhausted. My house is a mess. I haven't done laundry in forever. Goth Boy is even getting disgusted. Last night we went to see Henry Rollins. It was a kick ass show. I like it best when Henry talks about Heidi. I don't know why. I'm so envious of her. I'm sure I could work for Hank. I don't know how Goth Boy would feel about it.

I don't like working so many hours. Plus I have my next level starting soon. I'm tired. This is the comedown. I'm in the Paris hangover. Seeing Henry onstage was a little pick me up. It was so cool being that close to him. It felt like he was speaking to me. At different times during the show Goth Boy grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I think that's the cool guy signal that he's glad we were there together.

Everyone came down from San Francisco and the hippie chick and her man came from Vegas. It was so fucking great to see everyone. Afterward we went to Rhonda's house to see her new baby. He's so adorable. I love his room. It's so baby goth.

I'm looking forward to summer. I don't know where I'm going but I can't wait to get there.

confessions of The Shadow * 8:27 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

So Paris is supposed to be the city of love, right? Or is it supposed to be the city of lights? Or is that Vegas. I don't know. I'm so confused. I think Paris is the city of sex. Or maybe that's Bangmycock.

We had a lot of sex. It was really good. I used to think My Temple was the most kicking place to get down. I was mistaken. We had sex in the bathroom of the riverboat on the Seine. It was cramped and kind of clumsy, kind of like sex on a plane.

We had sex out in the fields around Giverny. I got a kind of rash and had an allergic reaction. It was hard to breathe and Goth Boy took me in a cab to the American Hospital. They gave me drugs. I think it was the same stuff they give you for shock. I forgot all the paperwork at the hospital like a total dumb ass.

We had sex down a side alley in St. Michel. It was really quiet and sexy and I don't think anyone saw or heard us. Who cares if they did anyway?

We had a lot of sex in the hotel. Goth Boy doesn't want me to say where we stayed because the company who paid for the trip probably wouldn't like it that I stayed, too. The hotel was really close to the one where Princess Diana spent her last night. We had a room above the trees that overlooked the street. Every day I would open the windows and the smell of the flowering trees would rush up into the room. It made everything smell so good. We took baths together in this huge bathtub and we stole robes from the hotel. I figure a hotel that swank has to just roll it in the expense of the room. Our mini bar was totally stock and we ordered room service all the time. They brought me coffee and croissants with orange juice every morning automatically. I didn't even have to ask.

The best sex we had though was on the train to Versailles. I'd never had sex on a train before. It was so good. There was a gentle kind of rocking motion that at first was a drag but then once we got into the groove it was really cool. The cabin was built for sex, too. It was dark and plush and quiet.

Okay, that's the sex report from Paris.I wonder who will be the new Pope? Don't worry, darlings. I have no plans to die on you anytime soon. I'm young and healthy and very sexually active. Even when I get to be 85 I hope to still be doing the nasty for the good of all.

confessions of The Shadow * 9:04 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, April 03, 2005

We are back from Paris. Goth Boy and I got home late last night. I'm totally exhausted. Goth Boy slept for like 9 hours today. I wish I'd cleaned my house better before we left.

We did everything. We took all these trips to see places outside the city. I was kind of bored while we were traveling. He was doing his coding stuff on the laptop while we were on the bus or the train. I did a lot of drawing and I wrote about ten million postcards and letters. I came home and nobody got any of them. I'm so pissed. Goth Boy says they probably come this week. How lame that we got home before my letters.

Here's a list of all the stuff we did. We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We went to see a prison where there was a riot. We saw these gardens that had all these statues made by this sculptor named Rodin. It's pronouned like the monster, Rodan. Goth Boy took a midnight tour down the sewers. I didn't go. I had a chance to go to a fashion show with a woman in the hotel. It was fun but her husband could not stop hitting on me. It was nauseating. We saw where Princess Diana's car wrecked. We went on a bunch of walking tours. That's where you follow a guide who bosses you around and doesn't talk loudly enough for you to hear anything about anything. There's another kind that you can do yourself which is better. We walk toured the Latin Quarter which isn't Latin at all. It's actually Roman like Russell Crowe in Gladiator. Anyway, there was this guy who rebuilt the city because there were all these riots and the poor people used to be able to run away and block up the streets and fight the soldiers. So they got rid of most of the old Roman stuff and this area was the only really really old part left. It's kind of cool. There's a lot of cool funky shops and cafes and stuff. I like it. We went into this huge old church that has this giant stained glass window that's supposedly made of golden glass.

We went to this island called St. Michel. It was built on this rock and the tide comes in and the whole island is surrounded and when the tide goes out it's like this crazy rock in the middle of the sand and there's a castle on top. It's not a real castle. It's an abbey which is some kind of place where nuns live. I thought nuns lived in a convent and monks lived in a monostory. I don't know what an abbey is. It was really cool there. We thought we were going for this champagne lunch but they don't start doing it until April so we just missed it. It totally sucked because it took us like 5 hours to get out to this island and then we were stuck there for like 4 hours before they took us back. We starved and got into a huge argument and then this really fat old guy came out and told us not to fight and to make love instead. We went into this shop and he made us some egg sandwiches and then showed us pictures of his wife. He married her after he came home from Indochine which is what the used to call Vietnam. His wife died two years ago. We were so happy he fed us and we drank some really good sweet wine.

Another trip we took was out to Versailles which is not pronounced versales but like ver and then sigh. My bad. The place was just fucking crazy. I knew about Marie Antionette already but the whole palace is just too much. Everything is too Vegas. It's all gold and marble and super craziness. I don't know. I think those rich old fucks probably deserved all those revolutions and getting their heads chopped off. Did you know that after they would chop off your head sometimes people could still see and hear and talk? They would hold up the chopped off head and it would be screaming or cursing the people. I'd probably do that. If I got my head chopped off in a crowd I'd tell them all I would come back for their children or that I'd fucked all their husbands or something like that.

We went to Montmartre which is where Amelie was from. That's a cool neighborhood. We went on this tour called Illuminations which is kind of like the lights of the city. Everything is lit up in Paris at night. Anyway that tour ends up at the Moulin Rouge. That show was a lot of fun. It was a lot like Vegas too. I don't know. I was pretty drunk by the end of the night.

Paris was a lot to see and do. Mostly we hung out. The clubs there don't even start until like 1 in the morning, which is cool. We would sleep all day and play all night. Goth Boy took me to see Jim Morrison's grave. It wasn't as cool as I though it would be. There's a lot of flowers and candles and all kinds of shit there but I didn't feel any connection to him at all. We went to a club called La Balajo a couple of times. It was thumping and cool but I felt totally out of place. We went on this DaVinci Code tour. That was cool but I only started reading the book after we went on the tour. They let us in this "secret" room in the Louvre museum. That was a little cool. Goth Boy already knew all the stuff but he hadn't read the book either.

We had a good time. We went to a flea market but I forget where we were. Goth Boy picked up some vinyl and a leather coat. It looks pretty bad ass on him. I got a ton of clothes. I got some really vintage suits. One's red with black trim and the other one is kind of an aqua blue. I got some really beautiful lingerie. Goth Boy bought me a bra and pantie set that was hand-made lace. I don't know how much it cost but when the lady showed him the price he kind of just stared at the paper for a minute and then he nodded yes. I can't believe how much stuff he bought me.

Paris was fun. The men there are mostly a bunch of assholes who think women all just want to fuck them anytime and anywhere. The old fucks would not stop hitting on me. I couldn't believe how they were just going for it right in front of my boyfriend. Goth Boy let shit slide that I know he would have gotten someone an ass kicking for sure here in the LBC. The women are all beautiful I guess but some of them do it up too much. French style seems to me like it's all really over the top. I don't think I like it too much. It's kind of phony.

I know you're all dying to know how much we fucked and where we did it and all of that. I won't deprive you but I will tease you.

confessions of The Shadow * 7:11 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~