Sunday, October 31, 2004
We went to some parties last night and had fun. It was cool. Boring Boy was kind of a drag. He was kind of a needy whiney crybaby the whole night. I found lots of super hotties for him to practice on but he was fixated on me. Goth Boy was right. Drag.
I finally found a girl who dressed like a super ho cop who was drunk enough to take notice of him. He dressed up like the wizard guy in that Ring of the King movie he loves so much. This drunk slut went over and arrested him and handcuffed him to her and took him off to places unknown. Hopefully to have some circus sex. If he was smart he was running commando under his robes. I have no idea how he got home. He called me this morning to say thanks for ditching him. He was being sarcastic, of course, but I really did it for both of us.
The Sex Popess of the World received much attention from her adoring fans. She basked in the glow of the worship. There was a minor priestess vying for pussy worship but the Popess stomped her cold. I missed Goth Boy. I'm sorry for being such a weakling, darlings. It made me sad to think of him all alone in London with his ex. I called him but he didn't pick up. I immediately felt like a little bitch. Good thing I called from Carey's phone.
He'll be home in a few days. I must act aloof about the whole thing. I'll sniff him out when he gets here and if I smell diva on his dick, therel will much hell to pay.
My idiot mother called this morning to ask if I wanted to come to their Halloween party and help pass out candy. I haven't called her back. I won't. I feel sorry for her. If I ended up speaking to the poor stupid woman right now I'd vomit venom all over her and really give her an acid peel.
confessions of The Shadow * 2:30 PM
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
I bought a dominatrix costume but I won't be using it for Halloween. I talked to Goth Boy and out of respect for our "relationship" I will wear it only for him. Whatever. I'm actually modifying most of the costume and going as a CatWoman so I can still wear the boots and crack my whip. I was practicing out in the alley this morning. It's not as easy as it looks.
Boring Boy is coming as a cowboy. I told him to wear his chaps without his pants but he didn't think it would be as entertaining as I know it would be. Goth Boy is going to some swinging Londonese party with his Arabic ex. I had no idea he had an Arabic ex or that she was in London. I don't really give a shit. If he fucks her he fucks her. There's nothing the Popess can do about it. After all, it is my dogma that everyone gets off as often as possible. If he fucks her and then tries to come back and worship the ultimate pussy, well there will definitely be a renegotiation of the "relationship". That's not even how I would have defined our situation. That's his word not mine.
I will kick his ass to the moon and back if he disrespects the pussy.
confessions of The Shadow * 11:47 AM
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
Goth Boy won't be home for Halloween. What a drag. Now the Sex Popess will have to go out alone. Actually, no. I think I'll let Boring Boy escort me to a party I'm attending. That should be fun. We'll see. I am, of course, no t dressing up in costume. I will only be wearing the official robes of the Popess. That should be entertaining. I actually don't know what that is yet, but I'm on my way to Trash and the Pleasure Chest. I'll keep you posted.
confessions of The Shadow * 10:34 AM
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Friday, October 22, 2004
As soon as Goth Boy got on the plane for Heathrow Rocker Boy called. What an asshole. He's a total stalker. The Popess will not tolerate stalker behavior. Persistence is one thing, stalking is totally unacceptable. I met him at the Iguana and I let him have it. He told me I was a cold-hearted bitch. I said if that was really true I would have humiliated his worthless ass at Fern's where all his loser friends live.
Then two days after that Boring Boy called. He's all messed up because Ally McBeal got herself all wound up in a tizzy over her birthday and candy and flowers and a bunch of shit like that. I told him to dump her and start prowling for pussy. He wanted to come over. I told him the Temple was closed. He started crying. I told him he was pathetic and that if he really wanted to lick Ally's pussy again he would have to grow some balls and go over there and be rough with her. I told him to go over there and pound on her door until she opened it. I told him to be sincere and ask her to tell him how to make her happy and not to put up with any of that "you should know" bullshit. If that didn't work, I told him to howdy cowboy and push her up against a wall and launch a mack attack.
I wish Goth Boy would come back. If I was a different kind of girl I would admit to missing him.
confessions of The Shadow * 3:30 PM
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Sunday, October 17, 2004
I am alone again. Goth Boy went to London to do something computerish. He said he would bring me back some Kinder chocolate from Germany. Big Fucking Deal. I can that get that stuff at Old World Village. I want shoes from Sasha of London. Guys don't get that.
confessions of The Shadow * 2:18 PM
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
I took Goth Boy out with friends last night. A friend of a friend had a little film in a festival up at The Egyptian. It was fun. The films were mostly great. I'm very happy with the way Goth Boy conducted himself. He didn't drink too much even though it was an open bar. He didn't make an ass of himself showing off how much he knew about digital film, which is way more than I know about it. He didn't gawk at the minor celebrities who were there or try to pick up on any chicks other than me. He was a little firtatious with some of the chicks in my crowd, but as the Sex Popess of the World, I will allow it. It keeps everyone feeling a little sex buzz and it's part of my sex dogma that everyone should feel attractive and desired.
I applied for the training program. I hope I get in. I actually am kind of looking forward to it, even though technically it's school. I must advance my brain.
My idiot mother keeps calling. What is it with this woman? I will never understand how someone as needy and clingy as her has been married so many times. Not even mentioning all the men she's had so-called relationships with. I don't know what she wants from me. The formality of our mother/daughter thing is tedious. I was listening to all the messages she's left on my machine and it just sounded like she was rambling on and on like some lu in the ED. She wants to get to know me as a woman. What the fuck does that mean? From anyone else out there I'd know exactly what that comment meant. But I know my mother doesn't want to fuck me. So what is she talking about? Are we supposed to go lunch and shopping together? Should we go to the day spa and have Mommy and Boo facials together? It all sounds like a tampon commercial. I don't even know her, really. I don't think I like her very much as a person aside from the fact that she's my mother. Then there's that whole I can't believe I came from that womb thing. It's just weird. She's always saying shit like "It's important to me to know what's going on in your life". Well, gee Mommy, let's see. Why don't you just log to my blog and read for yourself? Jesus God, could you imagine? She'd start by saying "Oh, how charming. I'm so pleased she's taken an interest in writing." Then she'd call my stepfreak over to take a look and he'd ask his dumbass son over to explain the whole blog thing to them. Then after they read a few entries, I'd start getting calls from her about why I was doing this to her and that my stepfreak is ready to just kill kittens over it. That's one of her expressions. She says everything is charming and calls all children and small animals adorable. Whenever my stepfreak is upset she says he's ready to kill kittens. See what I mean?
My sperm donor must be some kind of cool cat. He must have some kind of fashion and music sense. Maybe he's a lowlife somewhere who runs a smutshop. Or maybe he's some loser musician who runs a vinyl shop and promotes post punk shows. I had to have gotten my personality from somewhere and it certainly wasn't from the Suburban Queen.
It's okay. Joe Cole had a hard time identifying with his sperm donor, too. I've heard Henry Rollins and his parents didn't always get along either. I am comforted in the knowledge that it can be overcome. Not all of us get to live in the Dischord house. It is what it is, as my friend K would say.
confessions of The Shadow * 10:10 AM
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Monday, October 11, 2004
Goth Boy sucks.....my hot wet pussy! Yeah, life is kinda good. Jinx! Just wanted to blog that.
Gotta run.
confessions of The Shadow * 7:35 PM
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Friday, October 08, 2004
On my way to Oktoberfest. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a vomitous drag. I'm bringing Goth Boy to meet The Crew. Or what's left of The Crew. He passed his test on Monday Henry night. He is from DC. I should've known with that all y'all comment. I have a feeling something crazy might happen tonight. Hopefully it will just be a mellow evening of drunken debauchery and then mad sex later.
confessions of The Shadow * 5:38 PM
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Saturday, October 02, 2004
I'm at work. I'm typing this on the radiologist's lap top computer. He's kind of a prick. He wants to fuck me. Ho hum. He's freakishly tall but he has a pretty good body for an old guy. He's like in his 40's. He was telling me earlier how he works out with his trainer at Gold's Gym all the time and how he goes underwater diving and has this huge boat in the marina right in front of his condo in Bay Harbour. I really wanted to lean over and whisper in his ear that I was never going to fuck him. I controlled myself. I want to get into this training program. Maybe later I'll sue him for sexual harrassment or some shit. That would be amusing. I wonder if he has a son I could fuck to piss him off. That kind of shit is always funny. Or I could fuck the hot intern in Dr Rad's new Boxter. That's what he told me to call him. I won't tell you his name, but he thinks it's some kind of divine destiny that his last name starts with rad and so does radiologist. That makes him Dr. Rad. I called him Dr. Scrad behind his back. I made the hot intern laugh so hard milk came out of his nose. I rolled my eyes at him, but actually I'm happy I now have an advantage. I mean, as a woman and the Sex Popess, I always did have advantage over the hot intern, but now that I made him snort milk out of his nose even he cannot deny my power over him. Goth Boy came to pick me up at work and talk to Scrad about the digital image techniques we have in the lab. Two eggheads go blah, blah, blah. Goth Boy is taking a test on Monday Henry night. He is unaware of the importance of the test. Actually, he's unaware of the test itself. I hope he passes. I'm really beginning to get used to waking up to him.
confessions of The Shadow * 1:24 PM
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Friday, October 01, 2004
I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn to move my car. That's really getting tedious. My friend Carey has all this information on the history of parking in the city and where people can pay to park and it's become this monster obsession with her. It's easy to see why.
So Goth Boy turned out to be a flash web designer and apparently makes a buck a minute. No wonder he has such a nice truck. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm kind of ambivalent towards money. It's just the money attitude I can't stand. Like my mother and all her fucking husbands. I shouldn't call them that. Let me rephrase it. Like my mother and all her impotent husbands. Since he's been hanging around I haven't paid for anything, which is totally fine with the Popess. If one of my minions wants to worship the pussy by throwing donations into the plate that's perfectly acceptable. He better not start trying to dictate what the donations are used for, though. We'd go straight to the mats on that one.
Goth Boy is kind of a sheep in wolf's clothing. He opens doors for me. In restaurants he always asks me what I'd like and then tells the waiter. He knows about wine and stuff. He's been to Europe and mostly Japan and Taiwan. That makes me feel even dumber for having never left the nest of this great nation, America the Beautiful. He hasn't said anything about family or friends or where he came from. Maybe he dropped out of the sky like David Bowie in that old movie. I really don't give a shit. I don't care if he's from Lakewood and has a fat mom who wears orthopedic shoes and has a country kitchen decorated with pigs and cows. Maybe he's one of those little rich brats from the OC who escaped from behind the orange curtain to run up to Long Beach and be cool. I doubt it. People in the OC don't have any manners. Wherever he's from, someone tried to raise him right. Carey and me and Rhonda all agree that guys with manners are usually from the Midwest or East coast. He doesn't have any kind of accent, but once he said "all y'all." Carey thinks he's from the South, but like Atlanta or someplace urban. Rhonda says she thinks he's from DC. She says he's got Dischord written all over him.
We've made up a little test for him. We're going to talk about the Teen Idles and SOA and Bad Brains and Minor Threat next Monday night for the Henry on the raido thing at Rhonda's. Guys can never stand for chicks to be talking about something they know all about without jumping in and correcting or lecturing. Guys do that to chicks even if they don't know anything about the conversation. So if he's from DC he'll be all over us and we'll ask him how many times he's seen Fugazi in concert or something and if he says anything about seeing them play in the park for free we'll keep pulling him along. Guys are dumb. He'll give himself away. He doesn't want to give me his bio, that's cool. The Popess has her methods.
confessions of The Shadow * 8:33 AM
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