Friday, March 19, 2004

I went out to this bar in Santa Monica after work on St Patrick's Day. It was fun I guess. I was on the news. BFD. The guy I was with who got hurt in Mammoth came and totally ignored me. He's pretending he has head injury amnesia like Princess Diana's asshole driver who got her killed. Fuck him. Nope, never again. Even though it was totally so good. I made it a goal to find someone he couldn't stand, someone who would make his skin crawl for me to be with. Here's the thing about guys - after they've been with you they feel like the own you. It's like yeah, I fucked her. She's got a bit of me inside her. As if that little bit of him will be floating around inside me forever affecting my thoughts and feelings. Guys feel like they've somehow colonized or terraformed you by fucking you. It's so retarded. But that's why if you're with someone a former "lover" can't stand they get all aggro and crazy and like Get Off My Colony. Like the next guy is supposed to see the first guy's flag sticking right out of my pussy like a no trespassing sign. Guys are so lame.

So I found this guy who doesn't work at the hospital but knows everyone. I don't know how but probably just from hanging out. I was all over that guy. I could tell head injury boy was thinking I was a slut so I was like I'll show you what a slut is you dumb fucker. I was flirting and kissing everyone. I walked around with my friends and we told a bunch of idiots to go meet us at some other bar as a big joke. Most of them ran right out of there. I was wearing a shirt that says Mise Mi Fein on it. It's Irish for I am me, myself. I kept having to tell everyone what it meant. Head injury boy was like you're just loving everyone staring at your chest, huh? I told him it wasn't very responsible for him to be drinking so soon after his head injury. He told me not to worry. I just laughed and said yeah I'm not worried and let me buy you another drink. Fucking idiot. I didn't go home with anyone. I let the fattest, ugliest, drunkest old toad walk me to my car and I gave him a kiss goodnight but I went home alone to take a shower. I don't need head injury boy's shit. He can think he colonized whatever he wants but it's my pussy and I'll do with it whomever I want. Just as soon as I figure out who that is.

confessions of The Shadow * 10:57 AM

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Saturday, March 06, 2004

Last night was a really crazy night. There was a big trailer truck that fell off the freeway onto another big truck. It was crazy. The driver in the truck on the bottom died. The driver in the truck that fell over was driving really fast and the stuff on his truck was moving around and that's what made it fall over. This guy at my work was saying he'll probably get charged for manslaughter if he ever wakes up again. Plus there was a helicoptor that crashed and they had to do mobile triage at the scene. This chick I know did my horoscope and she said this weekend is my full moon in Virgo which is my sign. I think it's kind of funny that my horoscope is the sign of the virgin, but there it is.

I haven't heard from boring boy, or rocker boy, or even goth boy. No one's missing me. I went to see the guy I was with in Mammoth. He didn't even want to see me. He's still all banged up. The head of the ED yelled at all of us for driving him home ourselves. He wanted him air lifted here so he could do a neuro work up. This one medic who took care of him in Mammoth got yelled at the worst. It was kind of funny. The admin guy was yelling and saying who do you think you are? Buckaroo Bonzi? You think you can just cowboy out there? He totally wasn't making any sense. He said This isn't Nam. We're not practicing in the trenches here. I was totally amazed at the medic. He didn't say anything. He just looked at him like he was watching the WB. Finally the admin guy ran out of steam and we all left. We got about halfway down the hall and this hippie chick the medic dates just burst out laughing and then we all laughed our asses off.

confessions of The Shadow * 11:37 PM

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Thursday, March 04, 2004

I love the rain. It's not like I'm moving to Seattle anytime soon but I like the way rain smells and tastes and feels and sounds. I like the wet and glittery look of a rainy night and the grayish look of a rainy day. Two nights ago I was coming home from a gig in LA. I stopped by the house on Brooks Ave and looked at it in the rain. The lady wasn't home, I don't think. It was weird because the porch light was on and the rain kind of made it look like someone was on the porch just out of the light. Maybe it was a figment of my overactive imagination. I drove home and there was no parking anywhere. I had to park in front of the pet store and then get up super early to move my car. I got out and it was so flooded I couldn't get to the sidewalk. It was like three feet into the street was over my ankles in water. I was wearing 2 inch heels but it was still up over my ankles. I didn't want to go into the water with my shoes so I took them off and I hiked my skirt up and I was getting ready to just walk through it but I heard someone behind me say "Hold on baby". I turned around and it was this hardcore looking guy. He has a goth black mini mohawk spike with a backshave. I couldn't see all his tats in the dark but he has some beautiful stuff. He has his lip pierced off to the side. It's kind of cute. He came up to me with a piece of wood and he put it down in the street so I could get to the sidewalk. Then these two guys asked us for a blanket. He told them to get the fuck away and then he said "I guess I should walk you wherever you're going." I told him I was going home. He said his name was Danger with a totally straight face. I wasn't sure what that was so I told him my name was Trouble. He said he thought it would be something like that. I told him my real name and he said his name is Dave. I said as in Navarro? He said no. Why does everyone say that? Then we were at my house and I gave him a kiss and unlocked the door. I went to say goodnight and he pushed me up against the wall and sucked my lips. So I brought him inside and fucked his brains out. I'll probably never see him again. He seems like my dream come true. I'm sure he's busy chopping up co-eds somewhere. Such is my life.

confessions of The Shadow * 11:37 AM

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